Fractured Female: The Divorce


SILENT DUST

Within the framework of a structured dream
I envisioned you
gliding through my chandeliered illusion,
softly tiptoeing into some semblance  of reality,
gracing the rooms of my interior with your decor,
lounging in the softness of my cushioned chair
as though you planned to stay,

but dreams have fragile walls and often
decompose into a silent dust
while reality assumes another form.

THE MORNING LIGHT IS HARSH

The morning light is harsh
on night’s last words.
It crackles from the breaking sun and
sprinkles fragile blades
of grass with shards of glass.
My moon heart flees
from piercing wounds;
My moon soul bleeds
and cries and cries and bleeds.

ADVERTISEMENT

I put an ad in the paper:
“Marriage over.  Everything
must go.  Priced for quick sale.”

But what IS “everything?”

The photos from the trip out West.
The plans for the house we hoped to build.
The dreams we thought would be fulfilled.
The happy times…and all the rest…

Do the angry moments go on the bargain table?

The words we had when you stayed out late;
That dress I bought you said you hate.
We always said we would kiss goodnight
No matter how grave the fight,
But lately I turn away my shoulders
As my anger quietly smolders.

Put a price tag, if you can,
On the hours we’ve shared,
Made love and thought
We would always care.

Put a price tag, if you dare,
On the quiet times
When we were close.  I’m
Sure the cost is dear.

When a marriage is finally over
Is there anything to recover
Or do you just rent a giant hall
And sell it all?

FUNNY

Other than breath-taking pain
what do you think I should feel?

Cheap words,
“I won’t hurt you this time.”
Funny,
it feels like before.

Other than losing your mind
how could you let this occur?

Cheap words,
“It won’t happen again.”
Funny,
it’s happened once more.

Other than walking away
what do you think I should do?

Cheap words,
“I’ll be with you always.”
Funny,
how soon always ends.

CREDIT MEMO

Enclosed is a credit memo
to cover the part of my life
you recently returned to me.
You have been allowed a full refund
of your original purchase price
less the following deductions:

10% for reshelving the
merchandise.

15% for slightly damaged
goods.

50% for years in service.

The net amount will be remitted
to you as soon as I can liquidate
the remainder of my assets and
balance the remainder of my life.

In the meantime, sweetie,
I owe you one!

I DIVORCE YOU

I divorce you
not you, but the idea of you

you’re not, I’m not
we’re not the same
as we once were

we don’t look the same
or act the same
or think the same
or talk the same
or like the same things
anymore

the you that was
when I knew you
could at least
look at me with love
though flush with anger

but I don’t know the you
I see with eyes you no longer
want to look into

no, I don’t divorce you
I’d never leave you
but the stranger who lives
behind your eyes
has no need of me or
what I want to be

I still love you, the you I knew
but not the you I see looking
without love at me

DISSOLUTION

the way was laid in some ago we now
consider long but unintended turns
have brought us to this chasm–
a canyon wide as Grand and deep as Hell

we traveled alone together
as though the path was a truth
we could not lose

we lost
we lost the way
we lost the truth
we lost the love

on the brink of every possibility
we lurched into the never-never lands
without a guide

we took the unplanned turns
and tried to turn them into plans

we tried
we never tried
we loved
we never loved
we hoped
we never hoped

we thought our utter desperation
would be enough to bring us back to love
it only delivered us to this deserted place

our future has dead-ended
here in emptiness

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